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Free Lunch – 7 Posts in 7 Days

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Last summer I made a new friend. We became pretty good friends. He is one of the few people I know who were not looking for pre-brain damage Hevel in me. I’m sure it helps he didn’t know me before, and it also helps that I didn’t know him before his life altering injury. For B and I the way we are currently is the way we always have been as far as the other is concerned.

We have kept in touch through technology the last seven months, but we hadn’t had the chance to meet in person till today. Originally we planned to meet up for coffee in the afternoon, but then his wife texted me to go t for coffee and lunch in the morning instead. We met around ten and spent a good four hours together, talking and enjoying our meal, and getting a bottle opener.

During these four hours I experienced a certain freedom that I don’t even experience at home most of the time. It was a freedom in communication that comes partially from routine, partially from my friend having been in my shoes.  And that is something wonderful. Something that not many people can understand.

It was great to see them. I hope I won’t have to wait 7 months for the next time.

The story of a bracelet

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Some of you might have noticed that I have certain links on my site, and well, if someone uses those links and purchases something, it generates some income for me. This additional income has enabled me to donate an item to an adoption fundraiser, and to start saving for a special gift to a friend of mine.

She, let’s call her K, told me once that she has been eyeing a Pandora charm bracelet for a long time, but she wasn’t going to be able to buy one because… well, these things are not cheap, and when you have children and live in an awful economy, charm bracelets are not a priority. She said she’d be happy with a used one as well. I got the brilliant idea to start saving the extra income, and in about 6-7 months I would have had the money for the bracelet. With knowing I was getting closer to my goal, I was getting more and more excited. It would be only about two more months and I’d be there!

This is what I woke up to on Facebook today:

pandora

Now  Proverbs 25:14 comes to mind: Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give.

Because K didn’t receive the package from me.

A few days ago I mentioned to a friend, let’s call her C,  that I was looking for options on getting a bracelet for K. C said that she had one that she no longer used, in the size that would be perfect for K, and I should let her send her no longer used bracelet to K. I agreed, even though she didn’t accept my offer to give her the gift certificates I get from the links. C didn’t only send the bracelet to K, she included charms, a nice bag and a lovely card. She added a message from me, and sent it to K in my name… Simply to make someone’s dream come true.

C’s generosity and K’s joy over receiving the bracelet both made me very, very happy. I’m grateful for their friendship and it really made my day.

Because Love is Greater

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*All that is appearing in this post has been reviewed and approved by our friends.*

Our friends from the USA are here. We are having fun together, and our kids are getting along great. We had a great trip to Tzfat together, nice time on the beach and in the city… and great time chatting and discussing topics that are important to us. It was a wonderful few days together, and I think it brought some healing to our friends as well as some comfort and optimisim regarding the future of their children.

Our guests first wrote to me while they were in the middle of an adoption that didn’t end up going as it was planned, and their oldest son came out shortly before they traveled. Yes, I mean came out as gay. The world of this very conservative, “fundie light” family was shaken by that revelation of their son, and mom needed  to reach out… and found me. We have been writing and chatting for the better part of two years, and we have discussed life with HIV, cooking, TV shows, sunscreen, theology, Dr Pepper, cancer, parenting, iPads and Galaxy tablets… and everything else.

We talked about her feelings of shame and disappointment concerning her son. These feelings were overwhelming, and, as often, overshadowing the love. The shame and fear of being shamed by the community, being shamed by men dominated her relationship with her son. All the while she was doing something that was just as frowned upon: adopting HIV+ children. She was judged for that and alienated by church members and leaders. And that was when she realized that G-d commanded her to love and to leave judgement up to Him.

And that was when love won. because love is greater. She realized she doesn’t need to approve. She doesn’t need to embrace the LGBT community. She needs to love and embrace her son. They found the right community of believers to worship with, where they, too are accepted, with the gay son and all. I pointed her towards another blogger, Nathanael Vitkus, who is both a dedicated Christian and a supporter of the LGBT community, and works to build bridges between the church and the community.

While in Israel they had to face the next challenge of being the parents of a gay young adult. And that was an actual relationship starting up. I won’t go intro details what happened, but let me just say: having a same sex partner for your son in not easier, but not harder than having a daughter-in-law. Trust me on that one. Because… love is greater. People are different. Grown children fall in love, start their own families, and all we, as parents can do is love them. Or make their lives hell, but who wants to reinforce the evil mother-in-law stereotype?

Just remember. Love is greater. It always is greater.

***There’s a reason why gay means happy.*** 

Gifts. Lots of them

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This week I got a lot of gifts! The above beauties were made by Eszter.  I had seen photos of the two awesome wooden pictures of Mr. Skaat, but not the box! So I was super excited to tear off the gazilion layers of wrapping paper. I have to say I loved it! And then I opened it…

YAY! More Mr. Skaat! And more owls! And a little mole! YAY, yay, yay!

I also got some gifts from Prague. This is my favourite one (and the only one that lasted long enough to take a picture):

Yes, a beautiful kipah! I wore it to Craig’s bar mitzva. Thanks a lot, Ágó!

And then… there were the Hungarian chocolate bars!

Yes, I’m spoiled. 😀

Zalánnak

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