It has been a few weeks now that Kevin and I have been discussing our relationship. It has been hard for me to find the apropriate word to describe who Kevin is to me, and when I just asked him once how I should refer to him in an email, he said that we should get married. Now is the time, and we shouldn’t wait too much longer. So we checked out marriage options in New York and Ontario, and I have been hunting for cheap tickets and accomodations. Very cheap. We do have two big expenses to pay for before we can consider saving for the overseas trip.
A friend of mine suggested to do a fundraiser for our wedding. That suggestion mortified me! Why would I aks others to pay for my wedding? If I can’t afford getting married then, well, I won’t. Then setting up a wedding gift registry was suggested, and while it felt weird to do, this morning Kevin and I decided to create one. We filled out our data and then sat there and just laughed. We had no idea what to put on it! We have been a family for over ten years. We are in our fourth home that we share. We don’t need blender (we have 3), china, silverwear, monogrammed towels or a set of pots. We don’t use bath robes, have bath mats, picnic baskets and Shabbat candle holders. We don’t need things, and what we want is not apropriate for a gift registry. Instant Starbucks coffee and e-books would raise eyebrows.
To be completely honest, I also feel like having a gift registry is pointless when most of my friends consider gay marriage the second most evil thing after Obamacare on the face of the earth. At best they will ignore the fact that Kevin and I are getting married. I know some of them will actually voice their opinions. It’s okay. While it hurts, they have the right to do so. (I might just keep those comment in moderation indefinitely.)
So, we won’t have a wedding gift registry. Nothing I have dreamt of for years will be happening. But it’s okay. Dreams have always been just that: dreams.