"Embrace Your Identity"


I think this will be another one of those posts that I start to write, and either never finish, or finish weeks, months later. I received a message from a reader asking me why I don’t write about certain aspects of my life, namely that I’m gay. She suggested, “Embrace your identity!” The thing is: being gay is not the only aspect of my identity, it is part of my identity. Not the most important part at that.

In the last few weeks I found myself both writing more about topics relating to my sexuality and the issues of equality and social justice. I’ve written about Turing, I’ve written about what the word gay means. I’ve mentioned the fabulousness of Harel Skaat again and again. And yet I feel like I still am censoring myself for the sake of my friends.

At this point I have 35 readers on a good day. 5 on a bad day. I think with a readership that huge, I can stop censoring myself when it comes to unpopular aspects of my life. Oh well.

I have to say, I’m comfortable with that aspect of my identity. My identity of someone with a disability is a lot more troubling for me. The limitations society puts on me for being gay are angering. The limitations my body puts on me are crushing at times. Generally, I can say I don’t like myself because of the way my body has been awful to me my whole life.

So here I am.

8 Responses to “"Embrace Your Identity"”

  1. Bozรณt says:

    Embrace your identity…yeah, okay, and why does that mean one should blog about their sexual orientation at length??!!! Is it just me, or it’s really not logical?

  2. Annie says:

    Well, I certainly think you do that! I can’t really recall how I “met” you, but from day one I knew you were gay. It is just THERE – like you as a thinking person, or you as a person seeking God, or you as a person who enjoys cooking and food.

    I think you are so accepting of who you are that maybe it could confuse someone who wasn’t. So often blogs are a place where people “work out” things “out loud” so to speak. Perhaps someone who doesn’t understand being really comfortable with ones self would be thinking that you need to “work it out” by writing about it.

    To tell you the truth, I would be interested in hearing more about how you cope with your infirmities. Your comment in a post below about people ASKING you about your scars, is an example. I was stunned. Who would do such a thing [well outside the USA!] I wondered for some time (before asking on FB) how you managed your big household without having olympic-sized stamina.

    But, your blog is very refined. Strange to say, you have an almost Victorian sensibility that puts the discussion of ideas above the discussion of the personal. (I’d like to be more like that!)

    • Hevel says:

      I have to agree with you. For me beig gay, for the most part, is a non-issue. I am gay. I’m also Irish. I was born that way: gay and Irish. Neither has too much impact on my day-to-day life, and where it does is mostly not blogging material. ๐Ÿ˜‰ The concept relating to it is a different thing. I can be very vocal aboutr LGBT issues, as well as Irish issues.

  3. Alexis says:

    I came across your blog from another blog and I love reading about you and your life. It is very clear that you are a good person. I hope you will ignore ignorant people. My niece is honeymooning in the Middle East this summer. Jordan, Tel Aviv, Bethlehem, and a few other places. I was hoping you could share some information on those places. Thanks in advance! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Hevel says:

      I have never been to Jordan, and only went to Bethlehem before it became a PLO run city. TA is a great city if you want to party, attend cultural events or did I mention party? ๐Ÿ˜‰ Otherwise it’s a not overly interesting city. They should visit Tzfat, though!

  4. Alexis says:

    Thanks for responding and the information! I will pass it on to my niece.

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