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How the Internet really began

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This is something I got in an email. No idea who originally wrote it. 

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder, and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods, when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did look at her – as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load – but simply said, “How, dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns, and drums in between, to send messages saying what you have for sale; and they will reply, telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums, and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out, and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures: Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

But,this success did arouse envy.  A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham’s drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business. He was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading, as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy, at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And, he did insist on drums to be made, that would work only with Brother Gates’ drum heads and drumsticks.

Lo, Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started, is being taken over by others!” And, as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay, as it came to be known, he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”  And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.” “YAHOO,” said Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.  It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything(GOOGLE).

And that is how it all began.

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